Topic: Bang Your Head on Your Desk - the thread of teaching despair!

[ergative]

Tell him to pass on a career in STEM and go to law school instead.

In the US at least, evren proscutors are required to turn over to the defense any exculpatory evidence they find.   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exculpatory_evidence

It's called disclosure, you dickhead!

[apl68]

Tell him to pass on a career in STEM and go to law school instead.

Given the P-hacking scandals of recent years, a career in STEM might still not be out of the question.

[mythbuster]

I've got a new one for suspicious last minute requests to take an exam later than scheduled. "My cat gave me worms". I suspect this one is friends with the girl who claimed at the last exam to have diarrhea and offer to wear an adult diaper to take the exam. That student was in lab later the same day as the exam in tight leggings, I was told.

[the_geneticist]

Ewww, it's technically possible to get worms from a pet.  Rare, but possible. Treat like any other medical reason and ask for a medical note stating when they can return to class.

[MarathonRunner]

One of the essay topics I gave in my intro ethics class (they're timed and randomly assigned) was about how an ethics professor should handle a case of plagiarism.

At least one student plagiarized their answer.

Yikes! I TAed and ethics class last year and am TAing it this year again. The course is a graduate level course. I continue to be amazed by master's students who don't read directions.

[AmLitHist]

I've talked til I'm blue in the face trying to convince a student she should drop my class.  (It's her third go-round--once with someone else, and twice with me; she just flakes and doesn't turn in work, and the stuff she does submit is junior-high level work.)  She stayed in Teams and talked with me for 20 minutes today--the LDW--and isn't going to drop, even after I crunched the numbers and said, three separate times just today, "It is mathematically impossible for you to pass."

It's no skin off my nose, as it were, but dammit--if you aren't going to listen to me or do what I say after YOU ask my advice. . . . . ????

[mamselle]

Sounds like she needs the course to keep her student loans active...

M.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

I've talked til I'm blue in the face trying to convince a student she should drop my class.  (It's her third go-round--once with someone else, and twice with me; she just flakes and doesn't turn in work, and the stuff she does submit is junior-high level work.)  She stayed in Teams and talked with me for 20 minutes today--the LDW--and isn't going to drop, even after I crunched the numbers and said, three separate times just today, "It is mathematically impossible for you to pass."

It's no skin off my nose, as it were, but dammit--if you aren't going to listen to me or do what I say after YOU ask my advice. . . . . ????

Sorry you're dealing with this ALH. I can relate. I have an older student who hasn't turned in much of anything and wants to turn in things from September. I have told this student many, many times to turn things in (on time and not months late because then it doesn't count!), but my words have fallen on deaf ears. I guess it probably would have helped if this student didn't miss over half the labs and lectures.

[the_geneticist]

I've talked til I'm blue in the face trying to convince a student she should drop my class.  (It's her third go-round--once with someone else, and twice with me; she just flakes and doesn't turn in work, and the stuff she does submit is junior-high level work.)  She stayed in Teams and talked with me for 20 minutes today--the LDW--and isn't going to drop, even after I crunched the numbers and said, three separate times just today, "It is mathematically impossible for you to pass."

It's no skin off my nose, as it were, but dammit--if you aren't going to listen to me or do what I say after YOU ask my advice. . . . . ????

Ugh.  We have limits on how many times a student can attempt each course.  But the "drop after taking your finals" during COVID messed that up.  You can repeat once if you earned a failing grade.  But if you just drop, you can take it again.  And again. And again.

[kaysixteen]

Yes, but repeated fails or course drops would not be good enough to keep student loan accessibility afloat, would they?

[FishProf]

Student has reached out because he "won't be around during final exam week", and wants to take the final early.  Family has purchased tickets to [Distant Country].

The written final (from a different professor) will already be online, so not an issue.

The in-person, physical items-in-front-of-you practical exam will not. 

Student asks if he can take it early.  Nope.

I consider moving the practical final to the last week of classes to give him a break (i.e Dec. 7/8).  Oh no, he's travelling on the 6th. 

So now he's demanding to know "What I expect him to do".

I expect you to finish the semester by being here, until after your last final exam. 

If not, I expect you to suffer the consequences of you choice.

Maybe I should say THIS

[Puget]

Are other people seeing this?-- I think I'm seeing the consequences of pandemic schooling on this crop of first and second year-- there seems to be about a quarter of them that never learned how to study for an actual, closed-materials in-class exam.

They are just bombing the exams in my class, in a way I've never seen before. I even have a study strategies video and resources on the CMS for them, but of course this group of students is not using those, even after their first failed exam.

They seem much more helpless than previous classes-- often leaving answers entirely blank rather than attempting anything, and quite a few didn't even do the extra credit (make up a question you wish I had asked and then answer it-- so everyone should be able to come up with something!).

I do offer the opportunity to take a "second chance exam" during finals to replace one of the earlier grades, so I suspect on this past one some of them decided not to study and just count on taking the second chance exam, but that's a pretty bad plan since now they will have to study for 2/3 rather than 1/3 of the course material along with all their other finals.

[the_geneticist]

Student has reached out because he "won't be around during final exam week", and wants to take the final early.  Family has purchased tickets to [Distant Country].

The written final (from a different professor) will already be online, so not an issue.

The in-person, physical items-in-front-of-you practical exam will not. 

Student asks if he can take it early.  Nope.

I consider moving the practical final to the last week of classes to give him a break (i.e Dec. 7/8).  Oh no, he's travelling on the 6th. 

So now he's demanding to know "What I expect him to do".

I expect you to finish the semester by being here, until after your last final exam. 

If not, I expect you to suffer the consequences of you choice.

Maybe I should say THIS

Kick this up up the chain of command and contact their academic advisor. 

I have a student who asked to take their final early (no need, it's online), then to be gone the last two weeks plus finals, and is now saying they are in the hospital. I offered an Incomplete if they show me documentation.  I got a huge email with lots of "but I need to pass, you are crushing my med school dreams, etc.", but nothing to verify their medical emergency.  I have a feeling Stu will be repeating this class.

[EdnaMode]

Are other people seeing this?-- I think I'm seeing the consequences of pandemic schooling on this crop of first and second year-- there seems to be about a quarter of them that never learned how to study for an actual, closed-materials in-class exam.
...

I'm seeing it in my first-years this year. They're doing as poorly, or worse than those I had last fall, who I had wrongly assumed would be the "worst" of the post-Covid students because the students this fall at least had some normal(ish) time in the classroom their senior year of high school. I've left the theory exams open book (to see if it makes a difference in overall exam scores, it hasn't so far). There are some true/false and multiple choice questions on basic terms and definitions that we use in lab every week, things they could easily look up in the text if they haven't memorized the answer, and they still miss them. They also do poorly on the problem solving portions, things that replicate what we have been doing in lab. I give them hints on how to study, how to link the theory from lecture to the practice in lab and they seem to retain very little. I give them the information about our campus learning resource center that is staffed with people who can help them learn how to study better, very few of them go (we get reports if they go and mention they are studying for a particular class). I think this semester I will hit a record for the number of students who drop, fail, or withdraw completely. There's only so much I can do to help them if they won't help themselves.

[fishbrains]

Student has reached out because he "won't be around during final exam week", and wants to take the final early.  Family has purchased tickets to [Distant Country].

The written final (from a different professor) will already be online, so not an issue.

The in-person, physical items-in-front-of-you practical exam will not. 

Student asks if he can take it early.  Nope.

I consider moving the practical final to the last week of classes to give him a break (i.e Dec. 7/8).  Oh no, he's travelling on the 6th. 

So now he's demanding to know "What I expect him to do".

I expect you to finish the semester by being here, until after your last final exam. 

If not, I expect you to suffer the consequences of you choice.

Maybe I should say THIS

I've been getting something similar with students saying they're "going to be out of town and won't have internet access." When I point out that every coffee shop, local library, and McDonald's in the country, and across most of the world, has internet access, I always get this weird, blank stare and a sigh--like I'm the one who doesn't understand something. If they persist, I'll point out that they don't appear to have a functional plan for success in the course, but my astute observation doesn't seem to have much of an affect on them, alas.