Topic: Bang Your Head on Your Desk - the thread of teaching despair!

[Parasaurolophus]

I received this email from a student today. It was clearly written using ChatGPT:

Dear Professor,



I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to discuss the recent grade I received on my essay assignment, which I am deeply concerned about. I understand that you assigned a failing grade for the essay, and I would like to explain the circumstances surrounding this grade and respectfully request a reconsideration of my performance.



The essay assignment is a significant component of this course, and its successful completion is crucial for me to understand and internalize the course material effectively. I am fully committed to doing my best and ensuring my success in this class. I believe that my understanding of the course material has improved significantly, and I am eager to demonstrate my progress through a well-written essay.



Furthermore, I am faced with a challenging situation that makes it even more imperative for me to secure a passing grade on this assignment. My parents are currently unable to afford the fees for me to retake this course, and my academic progress depends heavily on this particular assignment. Failing this assignment would not only affect my academic standing but also create a financial burden that my family and I cannot bear.



Given the circumstances and the importance of this assignment, I kindly request your reconsideration of my grade for the essay. I am willing to resubmit the assignment if necessary or complete any additional work to demonstrate my understanding of the course material. I am committed to learning and growing in this course and hope that you will provide me with the opportunity to do so.



Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your response and hope for a positive resolution that will allow me to continue my studies without the fear of repeating the course.



Sincerely,



Stu Dent

Here's my reply, which will provide necessary context:

Hi Stu,

This is the entirety of the essay you submitted: "Animal-iNC".

As you can see, I cannot possibly give that "essay" any points whatsoever. It's not even a sentence.


Take care,
-Para

I'm pretty sure what happened here is that Stu tried to copy/paste their AI essay into the submission box and hit 'submit' without even looking at what they'd done (why there's any text at all, I dunno). But copy/paste was disabled for the essay, so they ended up with a blank box.

[bio-nonymous]

I cannot believe I had to give the following instructions to graduate students:

"C) Remember also that simple algebra may be needed to rearrange the equations, and make sure your units match before you calculate.

D) Be careful: follow instructions when giving your answers (proper units and decimal places)"

After their last exam I felt it important to remind them of middle school math for the next one...

[EdnaMode]

I cannot believe I had to give the following instructions to graduate students:

"C) Remember also that simple algebra may be needed to rearrange the equations, and make sure your units match before you calculate.

D) Be careful: follow instructions when giving your answers (proper units and decimal places)"

After their last exam I felt it important to remind them of middle school math for the next one...

Yesterday I had to remind senior mechanical engineering students to include units in their calculations. One of my colleagues is known to ask students... "Two point three what? Pounds? Meters? Gallons? Ducks? Angstroms?" I think once he retires I'm going to steal that line.

[AmLitHist]

We began the final module for the semester in my Comp I classes on Monday. I spent tons of time going over the requirements of the final paper, reminded them that this paper will make/break the semester for some of them*, spent TONS of time giving examples of potential topics and went over the "thou shalt not write" topics in detail; and spent most of 2 class periods showing them how to use Opposing Viewpoints to help them pick a topic if they didn't know what to write about. They're locked in to their topic once approved/assigned because they don't have time to play around and restart, or potentially plagiarize in a panic.

They had to submit their topic proposals in Canvas by 10 a.m. today.  If they didn't choose, I'd be happy to pick one for them [evil laugh, now and each of the 3 times I reminded them about this]. Of 35 students, one picked the very first topic on the "DON'T WRITE ON THIS" list. Twelve submitted acceptable topics. Three need to get back to me with clarifications before I'll approve their topics.  And the other 20 didn't submit a damned thing, so I had to waste time choosing topics and assigning them. (In the past, I've only ever had one or two abdicate the choice to me.)

Yeah, I can already tell these are just going to be pure gold to read. Or pure something.....
------
*Today was the LDW, so I didn't count the other 7 who can't pass but haven't withdrawn, despite repeated notices from me and Advising to get them to drop.

[fishbrains]

We began the final module for the semester in my Comp I classes on Monday. I spent tons of time going over the requirements of the final paper, reminded them that this paper will make/break the semester for some of them*, spent TONS of time giving examples of potential topics and went over the "thou shalt not write" topics in detail; and spent most of 2 class periods showing them how to use Opposing Viewpoints to help them pick a topic if they didn't know what to write about. They're locked in to their topic once approved/assigned because they don't have time to play around and restart, or potentially plagiarize in a panic.

They had to submit their topic proposals in Canvas by 10 a.m. today.  If they didn't choose, I'd be happy to pick one for them [evil laugh, now and each of the 3 times I reminded them about this]. Of 35 students, one picked the very first topic on the "DON'T WRITE ON THIS" list. Twelve submitted acceptable topics. Three need to get back to me with clarifications before I'll approve their topics.  And the other 20 didn't submit a damned thing, so I had to waste time choosing topics and assigning them. (In the past, I've only ever had one or two abdicate the choice to me.)

Yeah, I can already tell these are just going to be pure gold to read. Or pure something.....
------
*Today was the LDW, so I didn't count the other 7 who can't pass but haven't withdrawn, despite repeated notices from me and Advising to get them to drop.

Sounds like just another Friday to me . . .

[Puget]

I can now check "student is shocked that leaving early for vacation is not an excused absence" off my yearly bingo card.

[OneMoreYear]

Co-instructor is clear that they just wants to take the easiest way out of the semester as possible. They are inflating grades, not failing students for plagiarism, and refuse to discuss grading with me. My choices are either to say "screw it" and follow suit or grade my half of the students according to actual standards. I guess I'll go with a compromise option--generally inflate grades but still crack down on obvious plagiarism. This semester cannot end soon enough.

[the_geneticist]

I can now check "student is shocked that leaving early for vacation is not an excused absence" off my yearly bingo card.

I'd like to leave for vacation early!  Can I be excused from my responsibilities too?

[Puget]

I can now check "student is shocked that leaving early for vacation is not an excused absence" off my yearly bingo card.

I'd like to leave for vacation early!  Can I be excused from my responsibilities too?

That's pretty much what I told her. She said in indignation "so you're saying there's NO accommodation for this?" Yep, that's what I'm saying alright. I already drop their two lowest in class assignments, which I think is plenty generous.

[Caracal]

I can now check "student is shocked that leaving early for vacation is not an excused absence" off my yearly bingo card.

I'd like to leave for vacation early!  Can I be excused from my responsibilities too?

That's pretty much what I told her. She said in indignation "so you're saying there's NO accommodation for this?" Yep, that's what I'm saying alright. I already drop their two lowest in class assignments, which I think is plenty generous.

I'm fully in agreement with the sentiment, but I try to finesse these kinds of discussions with "oh, well yes, that's why I drop two of the in class assignments. I understand that over the course of the semester, you might have a personal obligation and I want to make sure that doesn't hurt your grade as long as you are attending class regularly, so if you've been doing that you'll be fine!"

[Puget]

I can now check "student is shocked that leaving early for vacation is not an excused absence" off my yearly bingo card.

I'd like to leave for vacation early!  Can I be excused from my responsibilities too?

That's pretty much what I told her. She said in indignation "so you're saying there's NO accommodation for this?" Yep, that's what I'm saying alright. I already drop their two lowest in class assignments, which I think is plenty generous.

I'm fully in agreement with the sentiment, but I try to finesse these kinds of discussions with "oh, well yes, that's why I drop two of the in class assignments. I understand that over the course of the semester, you might have a personal obligation and I want to make sure that doesn't hurt your grade as long as you are attending class regularly, so if you've been doing that you'll be fine!"

That's what I tell them if they are a polite about asking, but the brazen entitlement and attitude she displayed is not something I want to encourage.

[FishProf]

I have my first "clearly AI" plagiarism.

The topic: Shark behavior re: biting humans.

The offending passage?  800 words on "swimming with sharks" and safeguards in British Law for VCs (venture capitalists, never written out) inserted randomly in a mostly correct discourse on shark evolution in the Devonian.

Still can't even cheat right, and AI makes it worse.

[EdnaMode]

Stu was just in my office doing the "I'll do anything to pass," routine and saying that I was not helping, that I was not telling him what he needed to do to pass. He is right at 70% and this is a C course for the major. I repeated to him, "I've already told you what you need to do to pass. Come to class these next two weeks, do the work as assigned, and ask questions if you have them."

Then he said, "I did much better in the class when I took it with Prof. A." I reminded him that he failed it the last time he took it, which was why he was in my class this semester. That earned me a glare. He again said I needed to tell him what to do, and I repeated the same answer as before. And I added that there was no extra credit, no re-do of previous work, and that I was not going to make extra work for myself at this point in the semester and would not offer him anything that I would not offer to the entire class because to do otherwise would be unfair. He then stated that if he took the class again next semester, I'd have to grade his work again and that would be extra work. I said that that wouldn't be extra work for me, it was part of my normal workload to grade the assignments of everyone enrolled in the course. He snorted, huffed, said 'whatever,' and left.

He's a super senior, 11th semester. He is routinely late to class and has failed several of the in-class assignments. I strongly suspect he's getting lots of 'extra' help on the homework (not doing it himself) but those are worth only a small part of the overall grade. The in-class work is almost exactly like the homework and the demos done in lecture, only they can't consult with each other when doing it, but can use their notes and book. The median and mode grade in this class is currently 88%, but he also tried to give me the "no one is doing well in this class," routine. Ugh. There's always at least one, every semester, isn't there? Two weeks until finals. I surely can make it two more weeks!

[FishProf]

You weren't telling him "what he wanted to hear" so you were very unhelpful.

[kaysixteen]

Can your dept not simply defenestrate him from the major and be done with him?