Topic: Bang Your Head on Your Desk - the thread of teaching despair!

[OneMoreYear]

And if he doth not fess up?   What kinds of punishments can be imposed for such misconduct on extra credit assignments?

I follow university policies for all assignments that contain plagiarism/academic dishonesty, including extra credit. The student has submitted the assignment for a grade; it's just that the denominator in the grade book is 0.
Consequences for plagiarism/academic dishonesty on any assignment range from having to re-do the assignment (sometimes in our introductory courses if it's a citation problem) to failure of the course (and a marker on the transcript, as downer notes), per our University policies.

[ergative]

The student has submitted the assignment for a grade; it's just that the denominator in the grade book is 0.

Look, I understand you're upset about this, but please don't break the universe for the rest of us.

[OneMoreYear]

The student has submitted the assignment for a grade; it's just that the denominator in the grade book is 0.

Look, I understand you're upset about this, but please don't break the universe for the rest of us.

Oops, my goal today was to not break the universe. Can I have a do-over?

[arcturus]

The student has submitted the assignment for a grade; it's just that the denominator in the grade book is 0.

Look, I understand you're upset about this, but please don't break the universe for the rest of us.

Unfortunately, several of my students have already broken the universe with their academic misconduct.  Faking your data in a science class is not a good idea. For context, think: the day the Earth stood still. It is just not going to happen in real life, folks.

[Chemystery]

The student has submitted the assignment for a grade; it's just that the denominator in the grade book is 0.

Look, I understand you're upset about this, but please don't break the universe for the rest of us.

I entered a denominator of 0 into my gradebook once.  It broke my gradebook, but the universe was fine.  The support staff for D2L were happy to tell me it was all my fault.

[dr_evil]

A particular student has complained multiple times about there being no videos for a particular chapter in my online class. Twice now, I've told him where they are (they are under a section labeled "Videos") and another instructor has also told him they are there. Seriously, this is why I drink, people!

[mythbuster]

In the last 2 days I have had to explain to 3 different students that next week is Final exam week. No we do not have a normal class schedule, you only show up to the designated exam time. These are juniors and seniors. We have been back to in person classes for over a year now, so COVID does not explain this level of confusion.

I also shocked a student when I explained that "walking" through graduation the day after finals ends does not necessarily guarantee that you have passed all your classes. She seriously thought that we stayed up all night grading the seniors papers so we could pull them out of the line if they failed. Oy!

[the_geneticist]

In the last 2 days I have had to explain to 3 different students that next week is Final exam week. No we do not have a normal class schedule, you only show up to the designated exam time. These are juniors and seniors. We have been back to in person classes for over a year now, so COVID does not explain this level of confusion.

I also shocked a student when I explained that "walking" through graduation the day after finals ends does not necessarily guarantee that you have passed all your classes. She seriously thought that we stayed up all night grading the seniors papers so we could pull them out of the line if they failed. Oy!

I had to do that at a previous job!  Classes with "potentially graduating seniors" had to give early exams, report grades ASAP, and someone printed the diplomas the night before the ceremony.  And the school president had to sign all of them (I would have invested in a stamp).  We didn't pull the students out of line, but they found out if they actually graduated when they opened their diploma folder. 

It's OK, I've had to explain to students that "taking" a class is not sufficient.  You also have to earn a passing grade for it to count towards your degree. "But I took [basketweaving]!  What do you mean I need X more credits?"

[Puget]

In the last 2 days I have had to explain to 3 different students that next week is Final exam week. No we do not have a normal class schedule, you only show up to the designated exam time. These are juniors and seniors. We have been back to in person classes for over a year now, so COVID does not explain this level of confusion.

I also shocked a student when I explained that "walking" through graduation the day after finals ends does not necessarily guarantee that you have passed all your classes. She seriously thought that we stayed up all night grading the seniors papers so we could pull them out of the line if they failed. Oy!

I had to do that at a previous job!  Classes with "potentially graduating seniors" had to give early exams, report grades ASAP, and someone printed the diplomas the night before the ceremony.  And the school president had to sign all of them (I would have invested in a stamp).  We didn't pull the students out of line, but they found out if they actually graduated when they opened their diploma folder. 

It's OK, I've had to explain to students that "taking" a class is not sufficient.  You also have to earn a passing grade for it to count towards your degree. "But I took [basketweaving]!  What do you mean I need X more credits?"

We have to grade graduating students early so their degrees can be verified for graduation, but we have several days at least to do so (we have a senior week after finals). Those short a few credits can still walk and then finish up with summer classes, which seems humane. No one gets the actual diploma at commencement, just the cover with a congratulatory message inside-- the real one they have to pick up from the registrar's office.

[secundem_artem]

Exams end on a Friday and graduation is on either the Saturday or the Sunday.  Everybody walks the stage, gets the grad photos, etc.  But there's no diploma inside the folder.  They will get that in the mail once all grades are in and, most importantly, when the uni has received any outstanding tuition payments, library fines, or parking tickets.

[marshwiggle]

Exams end on a Friday and graduation is on either the Saturday or the Sunday.  Everybody walks the stage, gets the grad photos, etc.  But there's no diploma inside the folder.  They will get that in the mail once all grades are in and, most importantly, when the uni has received any outstanding tuition payments, library fines, or parking tickets.

This is very different from the way it's done in Canada. Exams are in April, and graduation is typically in June, so the only people who get to walk across the stage and receive their actual diploma are those who completed all of the requirements. (That also means awards and so on can be presented based on that performance.)

And yes, if someone is from across the country (or even a different country) they can decide if it's worth their while to come to the ceremony or just get their degree in the mail. Some students go on a trip for a few weeks between exams and graduation, since they'll probably start full-time employment pretty soon after graduation.

[secundem_artem]

Exams end on a Friday and graduation is on either the Saturday or the Sunday.  Everybody walks the stage, gets the grad photos, etc.  But there's no diploma inside the folder.  They will get that in the mail once all grades are in and, most importantly, when the uni has received any outstanding tuition payments, library fines, or parking tickets.

This is very different from the way it's done in Canada. Exams are in April, and graduation is typically in June, so the only people who get to walk across the stage and receive their actual diploma are those who completed all of the requirements. (That also means awards and so on can be presented based on that performance.)

And yes, if someone is from across the country (or even a different country) they can decide if it's worth their while to come to the ceremony or just get their degree in the mail. Some students go on a trip for a few weeks between exams and graduation, since they'll probably start full-time employment pretty soon after graduation.

I did my undergrad at U Toronto and that was also my experience.

Unfortunately, Artem U is in a location that, once the little darlin's have buggered off, they're quite unlikely to come back for something as dull as presidential speeches and the rest of the less than thrilling events at convocation.

[dr_evil]

I did my undergrad at U Toronto and that was also my experience.

Unfortunately, Artem U is in a location that, once the little darlin's have buggered off, they're quite unlikely to come back for something as dull as presidential speeches and the rest of the less than thrilling events at convocation.

For various reasons, a lot of my students don't participate in graduation either. Then there's this speech that is given every. single. year. Yes, the same exact speech. That and rarely seeing my students participate makes graduation extra dull. I feel like a living prop - that's it, we're like movie extras.

[FishProf]

It is the last day of the semester.  5 of 20 students have done NO WORK AT ALL.  The rest are on pace to pass.

Of the 5, 3 have emailed begging nor an extension (no), one for an incomplete (also no) and one to complain that he was never given any work to do.

Guess which of those 5 never took the syllabus quiz.

I was about to bang my head, but then I realized 75% of my class are not screw-ups.  That's a record!

Off to the Inhale thread.....

[quasihumanist]

I write a word problem with three sentences for an exam, and many of my students apparently cannot understand the problem.  They simply cannot read and keep in their heads three sentences of information.

Unfortunately, they have previously been taught to do word problems by finding the key words and using them to guess at what the problem meant.

Maybe I should tell them that, when I was an undergrad, some of my humanities classes required 150 or more pages of dense reading, reading that had to be understood reading carefully line by line, per week.  I have a feeling half of them would drop dead on the spot from shock.