Topic: Bang Your Head on Your Desk - the thread of teaching despair!

[Thursday's_Child]

And here it comes: Didn't do any work until the last day of the class, didn't do ANY Of the lecture quizzed, ended up with a 59.3%:

"Hi prof. hope you're well, I just need an explanation as to how I got an E in your class when I finished more than half of the assigned work. I'm not going to insult your intelligence but my grade should be at the lowest a C-."

Words fail me, for now.

Maybe tell Stu that you can't find a math error and ask Stu to show how s/h/it did those calculations?

I doubt the student did any calculations.  This sounds like the student believes that completion of half of the work (regardless of quality?) guarantees a passing grade. 
Does the student have access to their scores/percent in the CMS?  If so, I'd suggest a response inviting the student to review the scores and feedback on their work (letting you know, of course, if they find an error) and comparing it to the grading scale shown in the syllabus, which was provided to them on the first day of class.

I completely agree that Stu probably didn't lift a finger to do anything besides complain!

[the_geneticist]

And here it comes: Didn't do any work until the last day of the class, didn't do ANY Of the lecture quizzed, ended up with a 59.3%:

"Hi prof. hope you're well, I just need an explanation as to how I got an E in your class when I finished more than half of the assigned work. I'm not going to insult your intelligence but my grade should be at the lowest a C-."

Words fail me, for now.

Maybe tell Stu that you can't find a math error and ask Stu to show how s/h/it did those calculations?

I doubt the student did any calculations.  This sounds like the student believes that completion of half of the work (regardless of quality?) guarantees a passing grade. 
Does the student have access to their scores/percent in the CMS?  If so, I'd suggest a response inviting the student to review the scores and feedback on their work (letting you know, of course, if they find an error) and comparing it to the grading scale shown in the syllabus, which was provided to them on the first day of class.

I completely agree that Stu probably didn't lift a finger to do anything besides complain!

I wouldn't invite further conversation.  This isn't a negotiation, you are simply recording the score they have earned.

Dear stu,
Course grades have been submitted to the registrar.  Please see the syllabus for the grade-cutoffs.
Dr. Fish_Prof

Then put in a fake auto reply if needed.

[FishProf]

Actual response

Stu,
Per the syllabus, you needed a 60% to pass the course.  You did not reach that mark.
If you wish to challenge the grade, you can contact the Department chair at ......

Fishprof



So far, crickets.....

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

I swear to everything that is holy... I just got an email from a student who 'just noticed' (not kidding, these words were used) that stu is 'not doing well.' Stu also acknowledged that stu missed 2 out of 7 quizzes (basically tests), among other things. Stu is worried about stu's grade.

Um, yeah, I would be worried too, but I also wouldn't have skipped 2 quizzes and 2 other assignments. Stu has a 21.6% in the class.

Sigh...

Edit: I just checked and the highest grade stu has on any quiz is a 44%. Stu should have dropped a loooooooong time ago.

[AmLitHist]

I join you in your swearing, EPW:

A guy who'd had a low A in my online Comp I copied, nearly 100% verbatim, another student's original post to last week's discussion board.  (Have I mentioned my loathing for DB's to begin with?) So I spent a couple of hours yesterday morning doing all the paperwork, reporting him to the office of the VC for Academics (a genuine d&^%e himself), cc'ing my dept chair, and emailing the student all the relevant documentation.

Late yesterday evening he emailed me in a somewhat indignant tone that "I don't cheat off of other's work. I always do my work then post it before checking the other's for peer review. I see how it looks like I plagerized" [um, maybe because you DID??] "and I'm sorry for that. From now on before I post I will look to make sure nothing is identical to anyone else's. I'm sorry for this inconvenience."

An inconvenience and aggravation for me, guy, but I hope it earns you a royal ass-chewing from the VCAA. And since you still seem clueless/in denial/don't give a damn, lotsa luck on your [sure to come] next go-round. I just hope you aren't in my class when you do it; if you are, I'll push hard for your suspension.

(For clueless/"accidental"/"unintentional" plagiarism, I can approach it as a teaching experience.  For verbatim copying, I'm merciless.  Not warm and fuzzy, I suppose, but I'm also not so stupid as they seem to think I am, that I won't notice it.)

[the_geneticist]

Ugh. 
You might try a plagiarism checker for BOTH of the students.  They might have both copied from the same source materials.

[downer]

I wish there was the option of automatically running every discussion post through turnitin.com.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

I wish there was the option of automatically running every discussion post through turnitin.com.

That's a good idea. Someone make it so.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Damn ALH, that sucks. I don't understand students who do this. I mean how likely is it that he would come up with almost exactly the same discussion post? You and I both know it's very unlikely, but I swear some of these students are clueless. Do they honestly think that we won't notice these things?

[Caracal]

I join you in your swearing, EPW:

A guy who'd had a low A in my online Comp I copied, nearly 100% verbatim, another student's original post to last week's discussion board.  (Have I mentioned my loathing for DB's to begin with?) So I spent a couple of hours yesterday morning doing all the paperwork, reporting him to the office of the VC for Academics (a genuine d&^%e himself), cc'ing my dept chair, and emailing the student all the relevant documentation.

Late yesterday evening he emailed me in a somewhat indignant tone that "I don't cheat off of other's work. I always do my work then post it before checking the other's for peer review. I see how it looks like I plagerized" [um, maybe because you DID??] "and I'm sorry for that. From now on before I post I will look to make sure nothing is identical to anyone else's. I'm sorry for this inconvenience."

An inconvenience and aggravation for me, guy, but I hope it earns you a royal ass-chewing from the VCAA. And since you still seem clueless/in denial/don't give a damn, lotsa luck on your [sure to come] next go-round. I just hope you aren't in my class when you do it; if you are, I'll push hard for your suspension.

(For clueless/"accidental"/"unintentional" plagiarism, I can approach it as a teaching experience.  For verbatim copying, I'm merciless.  Not warm and fuzzy, I suppose, but I'm also not so stupid as they seem to think I am, that I won't notice it.)

Not sure on the timing or the circumstances, but is there any chance the copying could have gone the other way? I'm thinking of a friend who had a bizarre case where two students turned in almost identical papers and it turned out that one of the students lived across the hall from the other student and went into their room while they were taking a break from working on the paper, copied the paper, sent it to themselves, made some minor cosmetic changes and turned it in. The student who was copied from had no idea any of this had happened. Not saying this kind of thing is likely here, but if the student really claims to be totally confused, its always worth having a discussion with them to see if they could be telling the truth.

[the_geneticist]

Students, if you thought the exam was "so hard" why didn't you spend more time answering the questions? 
Might be time for a chat about expectations, time management, and exam strategies. 

[fosca]

I wish there was the option of automatically running every discussion post through turnitin.com.

I switched some discussions to assignments to be able to do this.  I'm tempted to change all of them; discussion boards are pretty much useless in my opinion (I teach all first-years in a 101-level course). 

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

I wish there was the option of automatically running every discussion post through turnitin.com.

I switched some discussions to assignments to be able to do this.  I'm tempted to change all of them; discussion boards are pretty much useless in my opinion (I teach all first-years in a 101-level course).

Good point. You can use turnitin on assignments. Now, if I could just get my students to do them...

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Got an email at 6am from a student who said that stu's parent has been ill. Unfortunately, stu has not turned in six lab reports (corresponding to the past three weeks) and wants to do it now. I asked for documentation. Student responded with pleading. I'm not sure what to believe, but why the hell do they wait until the last damn minute? Today is the last day of class.

[arcturus]

Got an email at 6am from a student who said that stu's parent has been ill. Unfortunately, stu has not turned in six lab reports (corresponding to the past three weeks) and wants to do it now. I asked for documentation. Student responded with pleading. I'm not sure what to believe, but why the hell do they wait until the last damn minute? Today is the last day of class.

Because they want an incomplete rather than an F. Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?