Topic: Bang Your Head on Your Desk - the thread of teaching despair!

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

My freshman writing class chose their topics for their final projects on November 1st. The papers — 5-6 pages — are due today. One student emailed me last night to say he hasn't been able to make any progress on it, so can he change his topic? Sure, go ahead and research a whole new topic at the last minute. Whatever.

Wow! You've got to wonder what they're thinking.

[marshwiggle]

My freshman writing class chose their topics for their final projects on November 1st. The papers — 5-6 pages — are due today. One student emailed me last night to say he hasn't been able to make any progress on it, so can he change his topic? Sure, go ahead and research a whole new topic at the last minute. Whatever.

Wow! You've got to wonder what if they're thinking.

FTFY.

[FishProf]

Final Exam is presentations on Wednesday.  The current count is 4 of 11 students out with COVID.

But there is time for more to fall by the wayside.

[RatGuy]

I wish I could say this to the student who needs to pass my class, hmm, maybe I will, but in nicer terminology:

"You failed every single test (except for 1 D) AND the final exam- what grade did you think you would get???"

A 4th-year major emailed a "but I need a C to keep my scholarship" request for bonus. I did tell her "you made a 64 on the midterm, you have a D+ quiz average, you made a 43 on the final exam, and you submitted your final essay a week late, resulting in a failing grade. None of that indicates C work in this course." She'll probably get a little snippy on RMP, but since our university evals are already closed, I think it's important that she be hit with the truth.

[AmLitHist]

My freshman writing class chose their topics for their final projects on November 1st. The papers — 5-6 pages — are due today. One student emailed me last night to say he hasn't been able to make any progress on it, so can he change his topic? Sure, go ahead and research a whole new topic at the last minute. Whatever.

Pro tip:  be ready to Google multiple passages (using direct quotes) from that paper.  I get a couple of these every semester, and without fail, they end up submitting a mashup of verbatim plagiarism from multiple sources, all without documentation, of course.

[teach_write_research]

I'm grading senior papers for a culminating experience in the major and the range is very wide. For the one I just finished I scraped the bottom of the feedback barrel to identify the strength as submitting the assignment on time. Massively lacking in content, ugh.

To be fair an additional strength is the student's honesty in submitting total crap and not plagiarizing. They get to revise and resubmit so there's a little spark of hope, but knowing the student it's more a dying ember.

Back in I go. Thanks for listening.

[Anon1787]

My freshman writing class chose their topics for their final projects on November 1st. The papers — 5-6 pages — are due today. One student emailed me last night to say he hasn't been able to make any progress on it, so can he change his topic? Sure, go ahead and research a whole new topic at the last minute. Whatever.

Pro tip:  be ready to Google multiple passages (using direct quotes) from that paper.  I get a couple of these every semester, and without fail, they end up submitting a mashup of verbatim plagiarism from multiple sources, all without documentation, of course.

Just graded one of those. Paper is garbage even with the plagiarism because it failed to include most of the required analysis. Now I must go through the reporting process. PITA.

[FishProf]

Finished grading lab exams, posted the RAW scores on blackboard, and sent an announcement on how to read the grade book, how the current average is calculated, what is NOT included (participation, etc) and an admonition to NOT email to argue about scores yet, but instead to study for the final exam ~ 25% of final grade.

Elapsed time to first email arguing about scores....14 min

[mythbuster]

Fishprof. I now post my explanatory message about final grades one full hour BEFORE I actually open the grades. It at least forces them to read the announcement.

[EdnaMode]

Had a student show up to the final exam this AM, he had not been to class in a month, and did not turn in a final project. He finished his exam in less than 15 minutes, it took everyone else around an hour to an hour and a half. So, out of curiosity, I took a quick peek at his exam, best guess is he earned less than 10% considering the questions he skipped. Why did he even bother? I don't get it. Oh well, less for me to grade, I guess.

[mythbuster]

He likely did it so that the his last date attended was the end of the course. It's gaming the financial aid fraud cops.

[sinenomine]

Had a student show up to the final exam this AM, he had not been to class in a month, and did not turn in a final project. He finished his exam in less than 15 minutes, it took everyone else around an hour to an hour and a half. So, out of curiosity, I took a quick peek at his exam, best guess is he earned less than 10% considering the questions he skipped. Why did he even bother? I don't get it. Oh well, less for me to grade, I guess.

I once had a student who had never attended class or turned in anything all semester come to the final. He answered the first question and then left. Got a 2% course grade.

[EdnaMode]

He likely did it so that the his last date attended was the end of the course. It's gaming the financial aid fraud cops.

That is indeed most likely the case. I'm always tempted to pick last day of participation (any student who fails, we have to enter the last date of participation into our grading system) as the last date they did anything meaningful, showing up and putting little more than your name on an exam doesn't count in my book. And I've had a few cases of students who basically sat through class an entire semester and never actually did any classwork. They took exams but never did any lab work so passing was never going to happen. Oh well. There's always one or two. I just hope that they're wasting their own money, not taking out loans that my tax dollars will end up paying back.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

My freshman writing class chose their topics for their final projects on November 1st. The papers — 5-6 pages — are due today. One student emailed me last night to say he hasn't been able to make any progress on it, so can he change his topic? Sure, go ahead and research a whole new topic at the last minute. Whatever.

Wow! You've got to wonder what if they're thinking.

FTFY.

Ha!

[Langue_doc]

Had a student show up to the final exam this AM, he had not been to class in a month, and did not turn in a final project. He finished his exam in less than 15 minutes, it took everyone else around an hour to an hour and a half. So, out of curiosity, I took a quick peek at his exam, best guess is he earned less than 10% considering the questions he skipped. Why did he even bother? I don't get it. Oh well, less for me to grade, I guess.

I once had a student who had never attended class or turned in anything all semester come to the final. He answered the first question and then left. Got a 2% course grade.

Doesn't your institution administratively withdraw such students?