Topic: Bang Your Head on Your Desk - the thread of teaching despair!

[AmLitHist]

A 12 week Comp II class of mine started this week.  It was originally a full-semester class, but with only 2 enrolled at the January start date, Admin changed it to a late-start, with a "make" number of 8 students.  I was sure it wouldn't go, with only 5 enrolled up til late last week--when it popped to 8. Dammit:  I scrambled and did the prep work, condensed lectures for this week, etc.  (After all, it was included in my load, and full pay for 8 students?  Yes, please. And I'm already on campus at the scheduled time.)

Only 6 showed up on Tuesday.  One emailed before class to say she was overloaded and would drop.  Another just didn't show or contact me.  I promptly went into Navigate, to see what the hell I'm working with, and found:
     1.--third try at 102 (got a W, then F); 0.67 GPA; academic probation (He was the no-show.)
     2.-- 2.85 GPA, but she's been taking 1 class a semester, off and on, since 2005 (with plenty of D/F/Ws in there)
     3.--dual enrolled (17 years old); 3.0 GPA
     4.--dual enrolled (17); 2.85 GPA
     5.--second try at 102 (previous F); all F's last semester in 4 classes; 0.52 GPA; second semester academic probation
     6.--2.77 GPA; adult student
     7.--dual enrolled (16); 1:00 GPA; academic probation

I give #3, 4, and 6 a half-a-prayer of passing.  Today I only had 4 of them show up.

I anticipate a genuine sh*tshow before this is over, and I put as much in writing to my chair yesterday.  This is not likely to end well.  Oh, and two of these registered the Monday before class began; two were registered for the original 16-week section; and the others all registered online between Thursday noon and Saturday midnight.

SIGH. I love the mission of an open-door CC, on paper.  In reality, not so much.

[marshwiggle]

A 12 week Comp II class of mine started this week.  It was originally a full-semester class, but with only 2 enrolled at the January start date, Admin changed it to a late-start, with a "make" number of 8 students.  I was sure it wouldn't go, with only 5 enrolled up til late last week--when it popped to 8. Dammit:  I scrambled and did the prep work, condensed lectures for this week, etc.  (After all, it was included in my load, and full pay for 8 students?  Yes, please. And I'm already on campus at the scheduled time.)

Only 6 showed up on Tuesday.  One emailed before class to say she was overloaded and would drop.  Another just didn't show or contact me.  I promptly went into Navigate, to see what the hell I'm working with, and found:
     1.--third try at 102 (got a W, then F); 0.67 GPA; academic probation (He was the no-show.)
     2.-- 2.85 GPA, but she's been taking 1 class a semester, off and on, since 2005 (with plenty of D/F/Ws in there)
     3.--dual enrolled (17 years old); 3.0 GPA
     4.--dual enrolled (17); 2.85 GPA
     5.--second try at 102 (previous F); all F's last semester in 4 classes; 0.52 GPA; second semester academic probation
     6.--2.77 GPA; adult student
     7.--dual enrolled (16); 1:00 GPA; academic probation

I give #3, 4, and 6 a half-a-prayer of passing.  Today I only had 4 of them show up.

I anticipate a genuine sh*tshow before this is over, and I put as much in writing to my chair yesterday.  This is not likely to end well.  Oh, and two of these registered the Monday before class began; two were registered for the original 16-week section; and the others all registered online between Thursday noon and Saturday midnight.

SIGH. I love the mission of an open-door CC, on paper.  In reality, not so much.

As I say to my kids, "Stereotypes exist for a reason." (Not that everyone fits a stereotype, but enough people do to create a pattern.)

[smallcleanrat]

Student who scored the lowest score on the first exam comes up to me after class. " My parents gave me a cruise for my birthday. Nonrefundable. It's during the week of our next exam. Can I take the exam the day after everyone since I don't get back until 6pm on exam day?"
   I actually said yes. Given that on the first exam she scored in the 30s, it will make no difference. I might as well get the brownie points for "being accommodating". Good luck studying for the exam while on the cruise.

I wonder if the student's parents surprised them with that cruise without bothering to ask about their school schedule first. Student might have been in the position of either asking for a different exam date or facing conflict with family for rejecting their nonrefundable gift.

[mythbuster]

Smallcleanrat, I think you have guessed correctly. Th really sad part is that this is a senior, so the impact of failing is that they will not graduate on time. So the cost of an extra semester is likely to be more than the cost of a discount week long cruise.

[dismalist]

The really sad part is that this is a senior, so the impact of failing is that they will not graduate on time. So the cost of an extra semester is likely to be more than the cost of a discount week long cruise.

Perfectly rational [self interested] behavior on the part of the student:

--Student is not paying all of tuition. Parents and taxpayers are paying some to much.
--Both the extra semester at college and the week long cruise are fun.
--By postponing exam, student gets fun of college for an extra semester + fun of cruise, at low to zero cost.

--She didn't get the cruise with certainty, on account of the exam conflict. She got a lottery ticket for extra fun on a cruise or a mess with parents. She gambled and won.

The instructors [we] call the odds! :-)

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

A 12 week Comp II class of mine started this week.  It was originally a full-semester class, but with only 2 enrolled at the January start date, Admin changed it to a late-start, with a "make" number of 8 students.  I was sure it wouldn't go, with only 5 enrolled up til late last week--when it popped to 8. Dammit:  I scrambled and did the prep work, condensed lectures for this week, etc.  (After all, it was included in my load, and full pay for 8 students?  Yes, please. And I'm already on campus at the scheduled time.)

Only 6 showed up on Tuesday.  One emailed before class to say she was overloaded and would drop.  Another just didn't show or contact me.  I promptly went into Navigate, to see what the hell I'm working with, and found:
     1.--third try at 102 (got a W, then F); 0.67 GPA; academic probation (He was the no-show.)
     2.-- 2.85 GPA, but she's been taking 1 class a semester, off and on, since 2005 (with plenty of D/F/Ws in there)
     3.--dual enrolled (17 years old); 3.0 GPA
     4.--dual enrolled (17); 2.85 GPA
     5.--second try at 102 (previous F); all F's last semester in 4 classes; 0.52 GPA; second semester academic probation
     6.--2.77 GPA; adult student
     7.--dual enrolled (16); 1:00 GPA; academic probation

I give #3, 4, and 6 a half-a-prayer of passing.  Today I only had 4 of them show up.

I anticipate a genuine sh*tshow before this is over, and I put as much in writing to my chair yesterday.  This is not likely to end well.  Oh, and two of these registered the Monday before class began; two were registered for the original 16-week section; and the others all registered online between Thursday noon and Saturday midnight.

SIGH. I love the mission of an open-door CC, on paper.  In reality, not so much.

Damn! I feel your pain.

[AmLitHist]

I got two gems yesterday, within an hour, from the same LVL Comp II class. This is long, but remember, I teach to provide amusement for The Fora*:

Hi you doing professor, this is xxx xxxx. I was wondering if I could get until 9:00pm to finish the assignment that was assigned in class today. The reason is because I'm at work right now and don't get off till 7:00pm, so I can't access my textbook at the moment to start on the assignment. Again, this is xxx xxxx and I hope you have a good rest of your day.

So:  you're taking a live class while you're at work?  And your boss is OK with it?  Um, okay. . . . that still leaves the no-late work policy, and the fact that you've known from the beginning that you need your book in EVERY class, so we can work from it, and the fact that you've been reminded about this in-class assignment every class meeting since last Friday, and the fact that you were given nearly the entire 2-3 p.m. class period plus extra time until 5 p.m. to do this work (which took my F2F sections about 20 minutes to finish), and . . . . oh, never mind.  Nope--I was done grading everyone else's work before 6 p.m. (because the majority of them turned it in during/shortly after class). You're not special (at least, not in the way you want to be); no extension.

Then, while I was answering that one, I got this:

A plea for mercy.

Dear Professor,

I am writing to you today to bring to your attention a mistake that I have made in regards to my Rhetorical Analysis Argument Essay Assignment. Unfortunately, I have spent all of my time working on an essay that was not the intended topic. It was only today in class that I realized my error after re-reading the assignment instructions sheet.

In particular, I had been writing about [article on an topic unrelated to assignment, in a chapter 100 pages away from the one they could choose from]. Upon subsequent reading of the instructions, I only glanced past this portion assuming that I knew which source to use. Regrettably, this is where I made my mistake.

Therefore, I would like to request your permission to use [irrelevant article] for my essay. I have looked through most of the case books while choosing, mistakenly believing that they were all options. I found the use of the concepts we have discussed in class to be very clear in [author's] writing, and it has made for very good topic.

You've had this assignment for weeks; we've talked about it repeatedly in class; I've mentioned the various articles you could use, by name and author, over and over; and. . . NO.  Just no. And "mercy" has nothing to do with it.
-----
* At least, it seems that's my reason for teaching.  I'm sure as hell not teaching much to anybody in recent years.

[the_geneticist]

Stu 1 needs to drop.  They are double-booked and won't be able to pass.
Stu 2 has an essay from a different class they are hoping you'll accept.  My bet is they are one of your dual-enrollment high school students.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Good Lord, ALH! You deserve some well-earned treat for dealing with this crap. Well, we all do! :)

[FishProf]

This semester has seen the title of worst student email/issues change hands FIVE times.  It had been held by a single student for 10 years before now. Brackets are my in-head responses)

"Hi my name is  (Student) I have a couple questions and explain some stuff
My question is why I have an E [everybody does, it is you current grade in the class and you have done NO WORK] if I scored a 80 on the quiz [which quiz?  The SYLLABUS QUIZ] and I'm new to the class I don't understand? [New to the class? It is week 6 of 16!!] [Fact Check - NOPE, you took the Syllabus Quiz on the 28th of January], Next I don't see any assignments or anything is there any assignments or something to do or is this class start late? [You didn't get 100% on the syllabus quiz, ergo you can't see any other assignments.  This is posted EVERYWHERE - see below for example]

I also want to explain something about my self um I do want to apologize because I know I've should've send you an email in the beginning but I am a first time mom I am also a full time student but also working with [Disabilities Office]  I do have accommodations I'll send you it but I just had a baby my new born is very colic and have GI and eyes issue does go to specialist out of the city so I do try get my assignments all done but I do also myself have health issues where I see neurologist / urologist / opthomoligist/ GI etc some are in the city but some are out that's why I'm doing online classes since my pregnancy. But my neruo does not have an exact diagnosis yet my [Disabilities Office Person] knows about it. Is there something that you and I work with or have an idea for each assignments or homework. [Disabilities Office Policy - No accommodation letter, no accommodations]

Thank you [Student]"

I am at a bit of a loss as to how to phrase the inevitable.  1) You aren't paying attention, 2) you are way behind, 3) No letter = no accommodation, 4) Accommodations aren't retroactive, 5) Maybe you should drop.

Example of one of 9 notices about the syllabus quiz - this was an announcement posted 2d after [Student] took the quiz and got 80%.

"The Syllabus is now available in INFORMATION.

There is also a video to watch (Top 10 Things to know).

Read the syllabus, watch the video and then TAKE THE SYLLABUS QUIZ!.


You MUST Get 100% on the Quiz in order to access ANY other course items.

This will GO AWAY and you will be unable to complete the course on 1Feb23."

[fishbrains]

A 12 week Comp II class of mine started this week.  It was originally a full-semester class, but with only 2 enrolled at the January start date, Admin changed it to a late-start, with a "make" number of 8 students.  I was sure it wouldn't go, with only 5 enrolled up til late last week--when it popped to 8. Dammit:  I scrambled and did the prep work, condensed lectures for this week, etc.  (After all, it was included in my load, and full pay for 8 students?  Yes, please. And I'm already on campus at the scheduled time.)

Only 6 showed up on Tuesday.  One emailed before class to say she was overloaded and would drop.  Another just didn't show or contact me.  I promptly went into Navigate, to see what the hell I'm working with, and found:
     1.--third try at 102 (got a W, then F); 0.67 GPA; academic probation (He was the no-show.)
     2.-- 2.85 GPA, but she's been taking 1 class a semester, off and on, since 2005 (with plenty of D/F/Ws in there)
     3.--dual enrolled (17 years old); 3.0 GPA
     4.--dual enrolled (17); 2.85 GPA
     5.--second try at 102 (previous F); all F's last semester in 4 classes; 0.52 GPA; second semester academic probation
     6.--2.77 GPA; adult student
     7.--dual enrolled (16); 1:00 GPA; academic probation

I give #3, 4, and 6 a half-a-prayer of passing.  Today I only had 4 of them show up.

I anticipate a genuine sh*tshow before this is over, and I put as much in writing to my chair yesterday.  This is not likely to end well.  Oh, and two of these registered the Monday before class began; two were registered for the original 16-week section; and the others all registered online between Thursday noon and Saturday midnight.

SIGH. I love the mission of an open-door CC, on paper.  In reality, not so much.

I taught a similar class about four years ago. I have no message of hope. Enjoyed the easy grading though. It wasn't my worst experience in the classroom, but it was hard to stay motivated. Hang tough.

[Caracal]

I anticipate a genuine sh*tshow before this is over, and I put as much in writing to my chair yesterday.  This is not likely to end well.  Oh, and two of these registered the Monday before class began; two were registered for the original 16-week section; and the others all registered online between Thursday noon and Saturday midnight.

I haven't ever taught at a CC, but what's the concern? It sounds like a bunch of these students are likely to just fail themselves by either vanishing or failing to turn anything in. Those students almost never complain in my classes. What's to complain about? As for the others, well, you can do a lot of really intensive writing work in class...and you can really spend a lot of time on their work. Some of them might actually get better at writing...

[Hegemony]

I am teaching an online class I have taught a number of times before, including during the pandemic. It's about the Bible, and so it typically attracts motivated students who are, obviously, interested in the Bible. But this semester I am just tearing my hair out. For the first time so many students are just relying on their background vague familiarity with certain parts of the Bible to do the assignments.

For instance, I may instruct, "Read the chapter by Smith about how Passover was celebrated at the time of Jesus. How does this enrich your understanding of the Last Supper?"

And they will write, "The Last Supper was a very important meal. It was the last supper that Jesus had. He was with his friends the disciples. It is good to eat food with friends. This shows that we should all share food with each other for community."

Read. the. chapter. Apply. the. chapter.

Is the semester over yet?

[fishbrains]

I anticipate a genuine sh*tshow before this is over, and I put as much in writing to my chair yesterday.  This is not likely to end well.  Oh, and two of these registered the Monday before class began; two were registered for the original 16-week section; and the others all registered online between Thursday noon and Saturday midnight.

I haven't ever taught at a CC, but what's the concern? It sounds like a bunch of these students are likely to just fail themselves by either vanishing or failing to turn anything in. Those students almost never complain in my classes. What's to complain about? As for the others, well, you can do a lot of really intensive writing work in class...and you can really spend a lot of time on their work. Some of them might actually get better at writing...

It's hard to get motivated when just two or three students show up. And often students at this level aren't interested in "intensive writing work" or engaging with each other. This makes for some very long class periods. It's not the end of the world, but it's hard to maintain optimism.

It's kind of like doing a session at a conference and only having two people show up.

[AmLitHist]

I anticipate a genuine sh*tshow before this is over, and I put as much in writing to my chair yesterday.  This is not likely to end well.  Oh, and two of these registered the Monday before class began; two were registered for the original 16-week section; and the others all registered online between Thursday noon and Saturday midnight.

I haven't ever taught at a CC, but what's the concern? It sounds like a bunch of these students are likely to just fail themselves by either vanishing or failing to turn anything in. Those students almost never complain in my classes. What's to complain about? As for the others, well, you can do a lot of really intensive writing work in class...and you can really spend a lot of time on their work. Some of them might actually get better at writing...

I agree in theory: it's less for me to grade when they drop, and they don't usually have the gumption to complain.  My concern is, Admin immediately takes the position that if even one student drops, it's automatically the fault of the faculty member:  we haven't done enough to make sure the student will succeed, up to and including passing those who haven't earned a passing grade.  If they D/F/W because they never show up to class, never turn in an assignment, are functionally illiterate, or for any other reason, all that matters to Admin is that the faculty member has failed.  I certainly have the documentation to prove otherwise, if/when I get called on the carpet for this group, but I don't relish the accusations or having to defend myself.

In this particular group, after a week with them, and after reading their diagnostics and first discussion board, I'm seriously thinking that if I have ONE left by May 1, it's going to be a miracle. Their lack of engagement is far surpassed by the poor quality of their basic skills.

Fishbrains, it's good to know I'm not the only one who's had a mess like this. I'll do my usual routine with them, and if they can't/won't do their part, it will be on them. The pay's the same either way, at this point, which is motivation enough.