Topic: Bang Your Head on Your Desk - the thread of teaching despair!

[fishbrains]

A student who has missed the last month of labs emailed to say that they need "just until tomorrow" to turn in all of their missed assignments. 
They also failed the 1st midterm and the second one is tomorrow.
But they do not want to drop the class.


And another student who I've been playing email tag with to let them know that they STILL need to register has now declared that they don't want to register if they can't be excused from ALL of their missing assignments because it would "hurt their GPA".

Sounds like you are falling into the "no good deed goes unpunished" section of hell.

[the_geneticist]

A student who has missed the last month of labs emailed to say that they need "just until tomorrow" to turn in all of their missed assignments. 
They also failed the 1st midterm and the second one is tomorrow.
But they do not want to drop the class.


And another student who I've been playing email tag with to let them know that they STILL need to register has now declared that they don't want to register if they can't be excused from ALL of their missing assignments because it would "hurt their GPA".

Sounds like you are falling into the "no good deed goes unpunished" section of hell.

Very, very much so.  This student has ignored all emails saying that they need to register and are instead throwing a fit that they now have to fill out a special form to register. 

[apl68]

A student who has missed the last month of labs emailed to say that they need "just until tomorrow" to turn in all of their missed assignments. 
They also failed the 1st midterm and the second one is tomorrow.
But they do not want to drop the class.

I am also getting these extremely impractical catch-up schedules.

Like, if you are 6 weeks behind, no, you cannot catch up by the end of the week. It's not because I won't let you. It's because there is no possible way to complete the work that fast unless you already know it, which both of us know by now that you do not.

Sounds like a lot of magical thinking--like the students imagine that if only they can shovel out something for each of the assignments, it will equal completing the course requirements and passing. 

It reminds me of the guys I saw broken down on the side of the road that day who had two and a half tons of bricks loaded in a little single-axle trailer.  If you could fit it all inside the available volume, then surely it would work, right?

[the_geneticist]

I have a student who copied and pasted answers to questions on TWO of their last assignments.  Blatant, super obvious copies (different font, way too well-written, didn't really answer the question, etc).
Did their TA catch it?  No.
How did I catch it?  Looking at a bunch of student answers to decide how to update the grading guide.

I don't know who's head I want to bang harder, the undergraduate student's or the TA's.

[mamselle]

Maybe bang them together?

In the way the old Chip 'n' Dale characters used to bump heads when they'd both try to go into a hole at the same time?

In other news: who knew office equipment could be so much fun?

   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPEvVEhVIMA

M.

[smallcleanrat]

I have a student who copied and pasted answers to questions on TWO of their last assignments.  Blatant, super obvious copies (different font, way too well-written, didn't really answer the question, etc).
Did their TA catch it?  No.
How did I catch it?  Looking at a bunch of student answers to decide how to update the grading guide.

I don't know who's head I want to bang harder, the undergraduate student's or the TA's.

What would be worse: TA didn't catch it because they didn't read it? or TA didn't catch it because when they did read it they didn't see anything wrong?

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Student just emailed me (for the 1st time) about a lab due in less than 3 hours. Apparently student thinks that stu has the wrong link to the simulation. Stu emailed me the link. Link works. Stu just didn't click on the right thing.

No, stu. You just didn't follow the directions.

Ugh.

[the_geneticist]

I have a student who copied and pasted answers to questions on TWO of their last assignments.  Blatant, super obvious copies (different font, way too well-written, didn't really answer the question, etc).
Did their TA catch it?  No.
How did I catch it?  Looking at a bunch of student answers to decide how to update the grading guide.

I don't know who's head I want to bang harder, the undergraduate student's or the TA's.

What would be worse: TA didn't catch it because they didn't read it? or TA didn't catch it because when they did read it they didn't see anything wrong?

Reading it and seeing nothing wrong is worse.  Not reading it is lazy, seeing no issue with blatant plagiarism is unethical.

From what I know about the TA, I'm assuming it's because they are new to teaching and probably thought the student just had a really good answer.  I really, really hope that it's not that they think this sort of cheating is OK.  We are meeting to have a chat later.

[rhetoricae]

Mine is an accelerated Comp 1 course, 8 weeks long & synchronous online meeting (counted as extra credit) each week. Important to note that we are in Week 6, with Week 8 being truncated for finals (& Week 7 for Turkey Day). There is very little time left in the course.

Student  has not attended since week 1 and has submitted nothing. (Literally nothing.) I send out an "alert" email to remind failing students of the upcoming last drop date.  Student emails back & says she has tried to drop the course but "that's not working."  So, helpfully, I loop Student's assigned advisor in to assist. Next morning, advisor emails to say "class dropped, all good" -- and nearly simultaneously, Student emails with the following (some items altered for privacy):

Clearly at this point I'm very far behind. Is there a way I would be able to catch up? Or an assignment that I could do to at least get me to a C? Maybe a paper or a few different ones? If I drop the class then I take the chance of losing [scholarship]. Anything would help at this point.

So not only is she already actually no longer enrolled in the course, but... "an assignment I could do"? I'm going to create a magical assignment worth 700 points for you alone? Yeah, no. That's not a thing. "Maybe a paper or a few different ones?" Oh, I don't know, how about a few of the ALREADY ASSIGNED AND UNSUBMITTED PAPERS.

Often at this point my response (if they're still in the class) is "go ahead and submit whatever you finish." Then they fail anyway, but I'm the nice guy. I rarely tell students "No, seriously, it's time to throw in the towel." But that's exactly what I did this time. Sorry, Student. The actually better outcome for you in several ways is to have dropped this course now. (A withdrawal before drop date won't hit their GPA. I suspect Student is saying they will lose their scholarship without this course because they are also failing others.)

Phew - a request for a single extra credit assignment that will turn your 0% into a 70%  That's a bold ask.

[marshwiggle]

Phew - a request for a single extra credit assignment that will turn your 0% into a 70%  That's a bold ask.

Perhaps something like this

[apl68]

It's so sad to hear about students on scholarship just blowing off classes like that.  They're throwing away a chance they won't get again.

[AmLitHist]

It's so sad to hear about students on scholarship just blowing off classes like that.  They're throwing away a chance they won't get again.

And a chance/scholarship that someone else (who really cared and wanted to succeed) could have used.

[Larimar]

Students, this is the third major paper out of four for the semester. Documentation of sources has always been required. The assignment sheet says that if you are reviewing a movie, video game, or whatever for this paper, that thing you are reviewing is a source and therefore must be documented. Why aren't you listening?????

[Anon1787]

An essay question was taken directly from the study guide on an open book exam and yet nearly half of the answers demonstrated little or no familiarity with the assigned readings (that were also covered in the lectures).

[RatGuy]

A dishearteningly number of students are telling me "I know you said that the final would be open book and comprehensive, but I left my textbooks when I came home for Thanksgiving."