Topic: Bang Your Head on Your Desk - the thread of teaching despair!

[OneMoreYear]

Gah! I have no idea what these students are trying to say in these research papers. It should be that hard to tell me what is know about your topic, what the gap in the literature is, and how your study is going to address that. I know I'm grading while sick, but it should not take me this long to try to figure out what you are talking about. I would bang my head, but I already have a massive headache, so I don't think that would help.

[Puget]

Students, I know you are stressed, but THREE of you have now asked me for an extension I already gave everyone in a course announcement email last week. You know, the email with the subject head starting "PLEASE READ CAREFULLY"?

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

A student turned in a file with the name: "PLEASE HELP!" No email, just a long statement about how stu doesn't understand the lab that stu just turned in and could I 'please teach it?'

Not sure how to respond to this one.

[EdnaMode]

Part of my students' final project is to specify materials to be used in their design of a [nerdy engineering thing]. I keep getting questions via email and on Zoom during remote lab that are basically "Hey, Dr. Mode, what materials are we supposed to use for the [part]?"

I keep telling them that that's part of the assignment, they're supposed to choose the materials themselves based on what we've learned all semester and the parameters of the project. They've had to choose materials before. It's on the assignment itself on the list of requirements, to choose appropriate materials. There are points on the rubric for material choice. Aaaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhh!!!!

[cathwen]

Maybe the student is hoping for a last minute "If I do AMAZINGLY well on the final exam, I'll pass the class" sort of miracle.
Is it even mathematically possible for them to pass after missing that much of the class?

Haha, no, it's too many zeroes. The best they could hope for at this point is 35%. And I think that would be obvious to anyone looking, including the student. I would have thought it was an automatic notification and that the student wasn't involved at all, except that it's weird for an automatic notification like that to happen in the last two weeks of the semester, as opposed to the first two.

I have a student in a similar situation—a string of zeroes.  Right before the withdrawal period, I wrote to him (copied to his adviser) urging him to withdraw, as his chances of passing were virtually zero.  (I'll add that I had been in touch with him periodically since the second week of the semester, and had sent his adviser an Early Alert—so his dire situation could not have been news to him.).

Rather than withdraw, he changed his grade option to S/U.  His current average is 46%.  Even a 100% on the final will not save him, but I'm betting that he thinks it will. 

[FishProf]

I have a fun students tussle in progress.  Steps involved.

1) Student took capstone seminar with me 2 years ago (only class with me).  Student was meh.
2) Student contacted me for Letter of Rcommendation (LOR) in subfield as far from mine as possible (Think, Department of Containers - LOR for Fine China and Glassware, Me - Precast Septic tanks.)
3) I tell student he should find another recommended who knows him better and is familiar with his work in chosen subarea.
4) Students insists, and says I need 3, you'll be fine.  I reluctantly agree and send my instructions on what I need from him.
5) Student submits application and gets LOR requests sent to me with < 1week to do.
6) Student emails me EVERY DAY leading up to deadline (I explain that I am doing hos and several others over the weekend and they will be done on time.
7) I write a meh letter, but when I go to submit, student has not waived right to see letter (my instructions say no waiver, no letter).
8) I contact student and inform him he needs to change the waiver.
9) Student argues.
10) I don't reply.
11) Deadline passes.
12) Student argues again.  I resend letter at #8.
13) Student finally changes forms today. 
14) Now has emailed me 3x since 6am b/c my letters are "late".
15) Submit letters.
16) bang head*

*Optional at every step of process

[OneMoreYear]

I have a fun students tussle in progress.  Steps involved.

1) Student took capstone seminar with me 2 years ago (only class with me).  Student was meh.
2) Student contacted me for Letter of Rcommendation (LOR) in subfield as far from mine as possible (Think, Department of Containers - LOR for Fine China and Glassware, Me - Precast Septic tanks.)
3) I tell student he should find another recommended who knows him better and is familiar with his work in chosen subarea.
4) Students insists, and says I need 3, you'll be fine.  I reluctantly agree and send my instructions on what I need from him.
5) Student submits application and gets LOR requests sent to me with < 1week to do.
6) Student emails me EVERY DAY leading up to deadline (I explain that I am doing hos and several others over the weekend and they will be done on time.
7) I write a meh letter, but when I go to submit, student has not waived right to see letter (my instructions say no waiver, no letter).
8) I contact student and inform him he needs to change the waiver.
9) Student argues.
10) I don't reply.
11) Deadline passes.
12) Student argues again.  I resend letter at #8.
13) Student finally changes forms today. 
14) Now has emailed me 3x since 6am b/c my letters are "late".
15) Submit letters.
16) bang head*

*Optional at every step of process

So, Step 14a was to revise letter to say that there is no way they should admit this student, right?
You are much more patient than I, FishProf. I would have stopped at Step 3.

[the_geneticist]

A student turned in a file with the name: "PLEASE HELP!" No email, just a long statement about how stu doesn't understand the lab that stu just turned in and could I 'please teach it?'

Not sure how to respond to this one.

Did Stu go to lab?  Come to your office hours?  Email to ask questions before the due date?

If yes to any of those, I'd be more inclined to offer to meet and chat ('cause I'm kind of a softie for offering one-on-one help).
Do you have a late work policy?  Maybe tell them to read/watch/etc the prep materials & come to you with specific questions?

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

A student turned in a file with the name: "PLEASE HELP!" No email, just a long statement about how stu doesn't understand the lab that stu just turned in and could I 'please teach it?'

Not sure how to respond to this one.

Did Stu go to lab?  Come to your office hours?  Email to ask questions before the due date?

If yes to any of those, I'd be more inclined to offer to meet and chat ('cause I'm kind of a softie for offering one-on-one help).
Do you have a late work policy?  Maybe tell them to read/watch/etc the prep materials & come to you with specific questions?

Nope, nope and nope.

I do have a late work policy, but I gave stu a 50% and moved on.

[Aster]

I have a fun students tussle in progress.  Steps involved.

1) Student took capstone seminar with me 2 years ago (only class with me).  Student was meh.
2) Student contacted me for Letter of Rcommendation (LOR) in subfield as far from mine as possible (Think, Department of Containers - LOR for Fine China and Glassware, Me - Precast Septic tanks.)
3) I tell student he should find another recommended who knows him better and is familiar with his work in chosen subarea.
4) Students insists, and says I need 3, you'll be fine.  I reluctantly agree and send my instructions on what I need from him.
5) Student submits application and gets LOR requests sent to me with < 1week to do.
6) Student emails me EVERY DAY leading up to deadline (I explain that I am doing hos and several others over the weekend and they will be done on time.
7) I write a meh letter, but when I go to submit, student has not waived right to see letter (my instructions say no waiver, no letter).
8) I contact student and inform him he needs to change the waiver.
9) Student argues.
10) I don't reply.
11) Deadline passes.
12) Student argues again.  I resend letter at #8.
13) Student finally changes forms today. 
14) Now has emailed me 3x since 6am b/c my letters are "late".
15) Submit letters.
16) bang head*

*Optional at every step of process

So, Step 14a was to revise letter to say that there is no way they should admit this student, right?
You are much more patient than I, FishProf. I would have stopped at Step 3.

Think of all the time and effort saved by not accepting the student's original request in the first place.

[marshwiggle]

6) Student emails me EVERY DAY leading up to deadline (I explain that I am doing hos and several others over the weekend and they will be done on time.

Busy weekend.

[reverist]

6) Student emails me EVERY DAY leading up to deadline (I explain that I am doing hos and several others over the weekend and they will be done on time.

Busy weekend.

I am so glad I am not the only one who thought this. :D

[Cheerful]

6) Student emails me EVERY DAY leading up to deadline (I explain that I am doing hos and several others over the weekend and they will be done on time.

Busy weekend.

I am so glad I am not the only one who thought this. :D

Is it the pandemic?  I haven't laughed so much in months.  I think it was the explaining to the student part that did me in.

[marshwiggle]

6) Student emails me EVERY DAY leading up to deadline (I explain that I am doing hos and several others over the weekend and they will be done on time.

Busy weekend.

I am so glad I am not the only one who thought this. :D

Is it the pandemic?  I haven't laughed so much in months.  I think it was the explaining to the student part that did me in.

I would hope, under the circumstances, that the explanation to the student would clarify the importance of wearing masks. Safety first.

[Parasaurolophus]

I have a student in a similar situation—a string of zeroes.  Right before the withdrawal period, I wrote to him (copied to his adviser) urging him to withdraw, as his chances of passing were virtually zero.  (I'll add that I had been in touch with him periodically since the second week of the semester, and had sent his adviser an Early Alert—so his dire situation could not have been news to him.).

Rather than withdraw, he changed his grade option to S/U.  His current average is 46%.  Even a 100% on the final will not save him, but I'm betting that he thinks it will.

0_o

Gah! I have no idea what these students are trying to say in these research papers. It should be that hard to tell me what is know about your topic, what the gap in the literature is, and how your study is going to address that. I know I'm grading while sick, but it should not take me this long to try to figure out what you are talking about. I would bang my head, but I already have a massive headache, so I don't think that would help.

I keep telling my students that their papers are not research papers, that they can only discuss material that's on the syllabus (i.e. that we've gone over together). I tell them over and over. In bold. In caps. In emails. In class. I attached a 10% penalty for not following the instructions and going to outside sources.

I'd say about 95% of them still end up trying to write a research paper. I really don't get it, because what I'm asking them to do is a lot easier...