Topic: Bang Your Head on Your Desk - the thread of teaching despair!

[the_geneticist]

I agree with alerting ALL of the helpful services: crisis response team, counseling center, their academic advisor, Dean of Students, etc. 

Either the student is in a true crisis and needs the help or they don't realize that you don't joke about these matters and this will be quite the wake-up call. 
Sort of like how some folks don't realize that pulling a fire alarm as a "joke" when there is no fire means the fire department will still show up.  And in many places colleges & universities are given high priority and the firefighters will leave or delay responding to other calls.  That means fines and possible jail time for fake alarms.

[Langue_doc]

Same class, different assignment. I gave extensive feedback on drafts. Guess how many students submitted the same old drafts?

Guess how many students have even looked at the modules or the directions for this and other assignments?

[mamselle]

I spent 1/2 hour, twice, going over a student's draft in architecture history. The second version had only incorporated a few of my not-just-sugggested-but-necessary changes (No, that church building was constructed in the 1830s, you CAN'T call it "colonial" even if their materials try to make you think it is...and I already said that when you first asked me about doing a paper on it!)

Her final draft, turned in, still incorporated none of the required changes. So I gave her a D.

Guess which student went to the chair and complained about her grade, didn't mention the two meetings, and blamed me for being an "unkind teacher"?

Yup.

M.

[Aster]

Guess which student went to the chair and complained about her grade, didn't mention the two meetings, and blamed me for being an "unkind teacher"?

Fortunately, "kindness" is not a valid metric to measure a professor's effectiveness. Equity, yes. Accessibility, yes. Punctuality, yes.

Heck, I actually prefer hiring the "mean" professors when given the option. Most of my "mean" professors don't grade inflate assessments out the wazoo, don't dole out "attendance grades", and aren't in fear for their future employment if god forbid they don't give 80% of their students A's and B's.

Not that I'm claiming you're a mean professor. I just find it funny that any student would walk into a department head or dean's office, complain about a professor being "unkind", and expecting anything out of that other than a quiet stare-down and maybe an internal head shake. Lol.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

I responded to the student who 'lost a wife, 2 kids and a dog in a tragic boating accident.' I supplied links to counseling, withdrawal, etc. Stu emails me back with, 'Nah. I'm fine. I realized we didn't have anything due this week.'

Wtf student? God, I'm just so very tired of all of this. I'm 99.99999999999999999999% sure that stu is just full of shit, but for the love of everything that is holy, why do I have to get the psychopaths?

[mamselle]

In the BBC cop shows that would be an arrestable offence for "wasting police time," as well as all the concern, empathy, and worry you might have expended on the student.

I'm very sorry that you had to even consider dealing with such a scenario, and very angry at the student (on your behalf) for being so cynically cruel.

M. 

[arcturus]

While I am glad to hear that your student responded that they are ok, you should still report them to your university's Care team. If they made it up, it is not normal behavior. If it is true, they really do need the support available. In other words, I would interpret this as a cry for help.

[teach_write_research]

<snip>  If a student wanted to send in a ringer, it would be the easiest thing in the world to do so at any stage of the process.

AR.

Yes. I had a highly likely case in the Fall. I include an academic integrity statement on exams. During the testing window for the third of four exams, the student contacted me to report that they were tempted to act unethically (the statement says to contact me in such cases). I was not surprised since they had excellent scores on the previous exams but were otherwise failing from a lack of other work and lack of attendance. Now of course I can't say that my assignments are so perfectly crafted to predict exam scores, but that profile is a pretty clear flag. The student completely withdrew around the point I was considering how to formally report it.

[teach_write_research]

I responded to the student who 'lost a wife, 2 kids and a dog in a tragic boating accident.' I supplied links to counseling, withdrawal, etc. Stu emails me back with, 'Nah. I'm fine. I realized we didn't have anything due this week.'

Wtf student? God, I'm just so very tired of all of this. I'm 99.99999999999999999999% sure that stu is just full of shit, but for the love of everything that is holy, why do I have to get the psychopaths?

Breathe through that insanity.

You can still report it as a concerning behavior. I mean, we are all in the middle of collective trauma so jokes about extreme trauma, especially if trying to manipulate a professor, are inappropriate and borderline lacking in integrity. If it is maybe a real trauma, then this overly casual reaction is still a concern.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

I responded to the student who 'lost a wife, 2 kids and a dog in a tragic boating accident.' I supplied links to counseling, withdrawal, etc. Stu emails me back with, 'Nah. I'm fine. I realized we didn't have anything due this week.'

Wtf student? God, I'm just so very tired of all of this. I'm 99.99999999999999999999% sure that stu is just full of shit, but for the love of everything that is holy, why do I have to get the psychopaths?

Breathe through that insanity.

You can still report it as a concerning behavior. I mean, we are all in the middle of collective trauma so jokes about extreme trauma, especially if trying to manipulate a professor, are inappropriate and borderline lacking in integrity. If it is maybe a real trauma, then this overly casual reaction is still a concern.

Yep. Stu is sending more email. SO thinks that stu is looking for attention. I'm leaving it until tomorrow.

[mamselle]

<snip>  If a student wanted to send in a ringer, it would be the easiest thing in the world to do so at any stage of the process.

AR.

Yes. I had a highly likely case in the Fall. I include an academic integrity statement on exams. During the testing window for the third of four exams, the student contacted me to report that they were tempted to act unethically (the statement says to contact me in such cases). I was not surprised since they had excellent scores on the previous exams but were otherwise failing from a lack of other work and lack of attendance. Now of course I can't say that my assignments are so perfectly crafted to predict exam scores, but that profile is a pretty clear flag. The student completely withdrew around the point I was considering how to formally report it.

Didn't someone on the old forum have a doozy of a case like that?

I can't recall details now, but it seems like it came down to requiring them to bring in high school yearbook photos of themselves, or passports, or something, to establish their actual appearance tied to their "in-class identity"?

And then someone bolted, a fairly clear admission of guilt that was never confirmed.

It wasn't on the order of Anthroid's Binders of Doom, but it was close.

M.   

[teach_write_research]

<snip>  If a student wanted to send in a ringer, it would be the easiest thing in the world to do so at any stage of the process.

AR.

Yes. I had a highly likely case in the Fall. I include an academic integrity statement on exams. During the testing window for the third of four exams, the student contacted me to report that they were tempted to act unethically (the statement says to contact me in such cases). I was not surprised since they had excellent scores on the previous exams but were otherwise failing from a lack of other work and lack of attendance. Now of course I can't say that my assignments are so perfectly crafted to predict exam scores, but that profile is a pretty clear flag. The student completely withdrew around the point I was considering how to formally report it.

Didn't someone on the old forum have a doozy of a case like that?

I can't recall details now, but it seems like it came down to requiring them to bring in high school yearbook photos of themselves, or passports, or something, to establish their actual appearance tied to their "in-class identity"?

And then someone bolted, a fairly clear admission of guilt that was never confirmed.

It wasn't on the order of Anthroid's Binders of Doom, but it was close.

M.

I'm glad I was spared that! It helped that the student previously took a class with me and I'm at a small college. I had enough information to know those exams scores were not legit, but not enough information to unmask the cheating. I was leaning towards a family member who thought helping the student pass the exams was sufficient to pass the class. A mental health crisis was involved too. Hard times.

[namazu]

<snip>  If a student wanted to send in a ringer, it would be the easiest thing in the world to do so at any stage of the process.

AR.

Yes. I had a highly likely case in the Fall. I include an academic integrity statement on exams. During the testing window for the third of four exams, the student contacted me to report that they were tempted to act unethically (the statement says to contact me in such cases). I was not surprised since they had excellent scores on the previous exams but were otherwise failing from a lack of other work and lack of attendance. Now of course I can't say that my assignments are so perfectly crafted to predict exam scores, but that profile is a pretty clear flag. The student completely withdrew around the point I was considering how to formally report it.

Didn't someone on the old forum have a doozy of a case like that?

Are you thinking of the Fake Jake saga?

[Langue_doc]

I responded to the student who 'lost a wife, 2 kids and a dog in a tragic boating accident.' I supplied links to counseling, withdrawal, etc. Stu emails me back with, 'Nah. I'm fine. I realized we didn't have anything due this week.'

Wtf student? God, I'm just so very tired of all of this. I'm 99.99999999999999999999% sure that stu is just full of shit, but for the love of everything that is holy, why do I have to get the psychopaths?

Breathe through that insanity.

I would report this student and let the higher-up decide what kind of support the student needs. Stu should not be sending those emails to anyone, let alone a professor. I would bump this up the chain of command and refuse to engage with this student.

You can still report it as a concerning behavior. I mean, we are all in the middle of collective trauma so jokes about extreme trauma, especially if trying to manipulate a professor, are inappropriate and borderline lacking in integrity. If it is maybe a real trauma, then this overly casual reaction is still a concern.

Yep. Stu is sending more email. SO thinks that stu is looking for attention. I'm leaving it until tomorrow.

[mamselle]

<snip>  If a student wanted to send in a ringer, it would be the easiest thing in the world to do so at any stage of the process.

AR.

Yes. I had a highly likely case in the Fall. I include an academic integrity statement on exams. During the testing window for the third of four exams, the student contacted me to report that they were tempted to act unethically (the statement says to contact me in such cases). I was not surprised since they had excellent scores on the previous exams but were otherwise failing from a lack of other work and lack of attendance. Now of course I can't say that my assignments are so perfectly crafted to predict exam scores, but that profile is a pretty clear flag. The student completely withdrew around the point I was considering how to formally report it.

Didn't someone on the old forum have a doozy of a case like that?

Are you thinking of the Fake Jake saga?

That's it.

How did that go? (Bewails, once again, the loss of the Old Forum as a research tool).

M.