bad puns and dad jokes

[Hegemony]

What's red and isn't there?

No tomatoes.

[secundem_artem]

I dun tole that ol' pharmacist fella that fer all the good them dang suppositers done, I could just as well shoved 'em up my heinie.

[San Joaquin]

Some of you on here need this Dilbert.  You know who you are.

https://dilbert.com/strip/2020-07-23

[Parasaurolophus]

For the Francophiles in the crowd:

What happened to the three French cats on the Titanic?

Un, deux, trois cat sank.



Alas, my favourite might be a bit blue for the forum. It's the ocelot joke.

[mamselle]

Tres six.

M.

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

For the Francophiles in the crowd:

What happened to the three French cats on the Titanic?

Un, deux, trois cat sank.



Alas, my favourite might be a bit blue for the forum. It's the ocelot joke.

Ugh...

[Parasaurolophus]

Ugh...

Yeah, sorry. I know better, I just can't help it.

[mahagonny]

Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?
A: A dick-tater

[evil_physics_witchcraft]

Ugh...

Yeah, sorry. I know better, I just can't help it.

:)

[Larimar]

This is a literal Dad joke; my father told it.


Do you know why it is that when you see a flock of geese flying overhead, one side of the V will be longer than the other?

It's because...

there are more geese.

[traductio]

For the Francophiles in the crowd:

What happened to the three French cats on the Titanic?

Un, deux, trois cat sank.

Alas, my favourite might be a bit blue for the forum. It's the ocelot joke.

One of my favorites! Except the version I learned was about kittens crossing the Seine. (We were in Paris last summer and my daughter -- Anglophone, like me, but in French immersion -- was crossing a bridge over the Seine and looked at me and said, "Oh, now I get it!")

[Cheerful]

A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.  No joke.

[smallcleanrat]

A caption under a picture of a young, wet owl sitting in a bath: Moist Owlet.

[onehappyunicorn]

A horse walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!".

[RatGuy]

For the Francophiles in the crowd:

What happened to the three French cats on the Titanic?

Un, deux, trois cat sank.

My dad likes the one about the Spanish Magician. He said "uno.... dos...." then disappeared without a trace.