The Mental Health Thread

[Hegemony]

Many people are so immersed in their own problems and situation that others' almost don't seem real to them. That's unfortunate, but it's just what happens. And we are bombarded with so much stuff all the time that picking out the signal from the noise, or the important from the merely stressful, becomes increasingly harder.  Particularly now, when everyone is pretty overwhelmed. 

Of course, some people are also just constructed so that they don't feel relations to other people very strongly. The other people are there, and they would probably throw them a life preserver if they saw them fall off a boat, but anything more complicated than that just does not compute to them. Kind of emotionally constipated. And actions that seem clearly advisable to others are not always clear to them — even though you'd think they would be. I know this type because I was brought up by very unemotional parents. Then my friends would need emotional help, and I wanted to do it, but I just didn't know how. It's taken me decades to understand how to respond to people in distress appropriately.  So I can promise that what seems obvious to some is just beyond the ken of others.

Hugs to all who are having a hard time.

[polly_mer]

Regarding stepping away: if I distanced myself from everyone who has acted this way towards me, I'm not sure who would be left. It would include my parents and my partner. I don't think I would last long with that level of isolation. I'm working towards being able to function more independently, but I'm not there yet.

This situation is something to discuss with the professionals giving you care and do get multiple professional takes on the situation because you can't trust your feelings right now.

It's always worked out for me to seek better situations, even moving cross-country multiple times ahead of my husband (and later child) to places where I knew no one. However, I was never in crisis during those times, just seeking better and cutting off people who, while not actively malicious, were really not there for me in the ways I needed.

At this point, I have a very good life that would not have been possible if I'd stayed in situations where I didn't fit, despite people telling me I should just be grateful for the external trappings of success and the known situations that, while not great, were not objectively terrible at the time.

[Volhiker78]

Isolation.   I went to a counselor after my first marriage fell apart and I became seriously depressed. Most of my social life revolved around my ex and I had to build a social network from scratch. My counselor helped with this and he suggested trying things without great expectations. Just do things that might be enjoyable and meet people.  It definitely helped with my depression.  Did it lead to life long friends? - No.  A few things I did:  joined a hiking club,  took a theology course,  took a crafts course at a local arts center, signed up for a week long active tour out West. 

[little bongo]

Introduction to buspirone tonight. We'll see what happens next.

[smallcleanrat]

Introduction to buspirone tonight. We'll see what happens next.

Good luck.

[little bongo]

Thanks, smallcleanrat. I'll be updating every now and then about this stuff. You take care, too.

[mahagonny]

Introduction to buspirone tonight. We'll see what happens next.

Makes me anxious, tired, achy, depressed. But maybe it'll work for you. Good luck.

[little bongo]

Introduction to buspirone tonight. We'll see what happens next.

Makes me anxious, tired, achy, depressed. But maybe it'll work for you. Good luck.

Thanks for the heads-up. Getting a little headachy--other than that, maybe a little too early to tell.

[smallcleanrat]

Stuck in a blank state these days. Not much emotion; thoughts difficult to generate; feeling disconnected from everything.

I need to be able to think. I'm trying to plan experiments, process what I'm learning in therapy, make decisions about the course of my life... I can't get my brain to cooperate most days. Any multi-step process drains my mental energy, even basic ones like getting dressed. It shouldn't take me 20 minutes just to change clothes, but there are days I need to regroup and refocus between each step: go to dresser, pull out socks, pull out shirt, pull out leggings, put on each individual item... Why is this so hard? Might need a meds tweak, unless someone here has a behavioral technique to suggest.

I miss feeling awake and alive and a part of the world. I don't know if or when I'll ever get that back.

[polly_mer]

Talk with your medical professionals to get help with meds or with anything else you need.

This is beyond what you should tackle by yourself.  Get help!

[apl68]

I miss feeling awake and alive and a part of the world. I don't know if or when I'll ever get that back.

Been there before.  You'll get it back, even though right now you may not be able to see it.

[Volhiker78]

Been there also.   Talk with your doctors/counselors.   Avoid trying to make big decisions.   First priority is to get better - it will happen.   

[little bongo]

Agree, and I get it.

Right now it's something of an effort for me to keep clean and brush my teeth, for example. (Note: I DO accomplish these things, honest.) And I'm getting some help.

An attitude that accommodates the idea that there's an end to this, and at some point you (I, we) CAN do something, is a big help. I hope this thread can be something of a positive resource for you.

[Puget]

Stuck in a blank state these days. Not much emotion; thoughts difficult to generate; feeling disconnected from everything.

I need to be able to think. I'm trying to plan experiments, process what I'm learning in therapy, make decisions about the course of my life... I can't get my brain to cooperate most days. Any multi-step process drains my mental energy, even basic ones like getting dressed. It shouldn't take me 20 minutes just to change clothes, but there are days I need to regroup and refocus between each step: go to dresser, pull out socks, pull out shirt, pull out leggings, put on each individual item... Why is this so hard? Might need a meds tweak, unless someone here has a behavioral technique to suggest.

I miss feeling awake and alive and a part of the world. I don't know if or when I'll ever get that back.

I hope you can be gentle and patient with yourself as you sort through this and work on getting well.
Certainly talk to your doctors and see about possible medication issues, but there are also some strategies you can try when your executive function is not doing what you need it to-- basically, you want to offload as much stuff your brain usually does for you to other devices, e.g.,

Make checklists for multistep processes and check them off as you go (hey, it works for pilots and surgeons, why not you?)

Set calendar alarms 10 min. ahead of each meeting/event to give yourself time to transition

Use timers to remind yourself to switch tasks so you don't get "stuck" on one thing for too long (and to schedule breaks)

Write or record (voice memo) notes to yourself as soon as you think of something, so you don't have to remember it.

Take advantage of the times you're feeling most focused to prep for the foggier times-- e.g., if you feel more alert in the evening than the morning, lay out your clothing for the next day then so you don't have to think about it in the morning.

Break larger tasks down into small, manageable tasks and list them all out. Start with just a few minutes on the easiest of the sub-tasks and then see if that helps you keep going.

etc.

I always tell my students (in the health and life skills class I teach) to think of these types of tools as experiments with n=1 -- things to try out for themselves and see which ones may be helpful. They may or may not work for you, but you could test a few out and see.

[the_geneticist]

Stuck in a blank state these days. Not much emotion; thoughts difficult to generate; feeling disconnected from everything.

I need to be able to think. I'm trying to plan experiments, process what I'm learning in therapy, make decisions about the course of my life... I can't get my brain to cooperate most days. Any multi-step process drains my mental energy, even basic ones like getting dressed. It shouldn't take me 20 minutes just to change clothes, but there are days I need to regroup and refocus between each step: go to dresser, pull out socks, pull out shirt, pull out leggings, put on each individual item... Why is this so hard? Might need a meds tweak, unless someone here has a behavioral technique to suggest.

I miss feeling awake and alive and a part of the world. I don't know if or when I'll ever get that back.

You're in a really rough place, but it will get better.

I used to use a "least detested task" strategy to do stuff.  As in, I'd have 3 things that I needed to do (shower, unload dishwasher, scoop the litter box).  I'd ask myself which of these was the least awful to accomplish (take a shower!) and do that thing.  That was usually just enough of a perk to convince me to do one more task.
And simplify things for yourself.  Not up to cooking?  It's OK!  Buy canned soup or frozen dinners or whatever you're willing to eat.
Not sure what to wear?  Just wear whatever is on the top of the dresser drawer or closest in the closet.
Having Maestro is really good for you.  When I was at my worst, having to get up to feed Buddycat is what got me out of bed in the mornings.  And your little kitty sounds delightful!  Making him happy is a good goal, even if you can't feel much in the way of happiness right now.
Depression sucks.
It will get better.