"Favorite" student sentences

[Juvenal]

"Also, men would not want to change their name to their wife's last name because more than likely it would probably break their morals and their manly hood."

Yes, those XY thingy-s are all hoodlums. It's your manly moral duty to keep those hoods upright!

[ciao_yall]

"Also, men would not want to change their name to their wife's last name because more than likely it would probably break their morals and their manly hood."

But if they are circumcised then maybe that isn't a problem to worry about?

[AmLitHist]

Certain times of the year, the sounds of incests and deer can be heard in the nearby woods.

Once is a typo; it appears the same way 8 other times in the 500-word paper.

[RatGuy]

We're nearing the midterm, and students have the opportunity for some bonus by answering some "midterm reflection" questions on the LMS. Here's one student's response:

So far, this class has lived up to all the information I found online about it, a lot of reading and a lot of writing. In all honesty, coming to class has little to no purpose in my opinion. We come to class at eight in the morning no matter the weather. Pouring rain? Does not matter. Twenty degrees? Does not matter. Tornado? Does not matter. All for what, a fifty minute lecture about powerpoints and works cited pages. All I am saying is, if we are coming to class this early, I want to enjoy it. I was not even supposed to be in this class, I wanted to have my instructor from last semester, I still wonder how that got messed up.

I guess I also need to lecture on awareness of audience.

[marshwiggle]

We're nearing the midterm, and students have the opportunity for some bonus by answering some "midterm reflection" questions on the LMS. Here's one student's response:

So far, this class has lived up to all the information I found online about it, a lot of reading and a lot of writing. In all honesty, coming to class has little to no purpose in my opinion. We come to class at eight in the morning no matter the weather. Pouring rain? Does not matter. Twenty degrees? Does not matter. Tornado? Does not matter. All for what, a fifty minute lecture about powerpoints and works cited pages. All I am saying is, if we are coming to class this early, I want to enjoy it. I was not even supposed to be in this class, I wanted to have my instructor from last semester, I still wonder how that got messed up.

I guess I also need to lecture on awareness of audience.

I can't wait to see how full time employment appeals.

[apl68]

We're nearing the midterm, and students have the opportunity for some bonus by answering some "midterm reflection" questions on the LMS. Here's one student's response:

So far, this class has lived up to all the information I found online about it, a lot of reading and a lot of writing. In all honesty, coming to class has little to no purpose in my opinion. We come to class at eight in the morning no matter the weather. Pouring rain? Does not matter. Twenty degrees? Does not matter. Tornado? Does not matter. All for what, a fifty minute lecture about powerpoints and works cited pages. All I am saying is, if we are coming to class this early, I want to enjoy it. I was not even supposed to be in this class, I wanted to have my instructor from last semester, I still wonder how that got messed up.

I guess I also need to lecture on awareness of audience.

I can't wait to see how full time employment appeals.

My thoughts as well.  I really hope that this student is a freshman who still has a couple of years to learn a few "it's not all about you" lessons.

[the_geneticist]

We're nearing the midterm, and students have the opportunity for some bonus by answering some "midterm reflection" questions on the LMS. Here's one student's response:

So far, this class has lived up to all the information I found online about it, a lot of reading and a lot of writing. In all honesty, coming to class has little to no purpose in my opinion. We come to class at eight in the morning no matter the weather. Pouring rain? Does not matter. Twenty degrees? Does not matter. Tornado? Does not matter. All for what, a fifty minute lecture about powerpoints and works cited pages. All I am saying is, if we are coming to class this early, I want to enjoy it. I was not even supposed to be in this class, I wanted to have my instructor from last semester, I still wonder how that got messed up.

I guess I also need to lecture on awareness of audience.

No matter the weather!  You mean you don't cancel if there is a chance they might get their shoes wet?!  Or at least send over an Uber to pick them up with an umbrella and a latte?  [insert eye roll here]
Yikes.  That student is going to be in for a shock when they are fired for being late.  For lots of entry level jobs, it only takes once.

[backatit]

We're nearing the midterm, and students have the opportunity for some bonus by answering some "midterm reflection" questions on the LMS. Here's one student's response:

So far, this class has lived up to all the information I found online about it, a lot of reading and a lot of writing. In all honesty, coming to class has little to no purpose in my opinion. We come to class at eight in the morning no matter the weather. Pouring rain? Does not matter. Twenty degrees? Does not matter. Tornado? Does not matter. All for what, a fifty minute lecture about powerpoints and works cited pages. All I am saying is, if we are coming to class this early, I want to enjoy it. I was not even supposed to be in this class, I wanted to have my instructor from last semester, I still wonder how that got messed up.

I guess I also need to lecture on awareness of audience.

I can't wait to see how full time employment appeals.

And this, people, is why you should always make your children work in the summer. Geeze.

[polly_mer]

Certain times of the year, the sounds of incests and deer can be heard in the nearby woods.

Once is a typo; it appears the same way 8 other times in the 500-word paper.

Search and replace is not everyone's friend.

Auto-correct is not everyone's friend.

At least it was wrong only through a 500-word paper.  I've seen some big reports that fail on a key technical word every time for a hundred pages.

[mbelvadi]

We're nearing the midterm, and students have the opportunity for some bonus by answering some "midterm reflection" questions on the LMS. Here's one student's response:

So far, this class has lived up to all the information I found online about it, a lot of reading and a lot of writing. In all honesty, coming to class has little to no purpose in my opinion. We come to class at eight in the morning no matter the weather. Pouring rain? Does not matter. Twenty degrees? Does not matter. Tornado? Does not matter. All for what, a fifty minute lecture about powerpoints and works cited pages. All I am saying is, if we are coming to class this early, I want to enjoy it. I was not even supposed to be in this class, I wanted to have my instructor from last semester, I still wonder how that got messed up.

I guess I also need to lecture on awareness of audience.

I can't wait to see how full time employment appeals.

And this, people, is why you should always make your children work in the summer. Geeze.

I have a 50-something friend who does hard physical work outside involving trees and electric poles. All year round (and this is Canada). He says that they can never keep under-30 employees because they all quit when they find out that they're expecting to work in bad weather conditions. One quit in the first hour of his first day when finding out that they're expected to work in the rain. And that was before the snow came this winter.  He's really sick of hearing how Millennials have an unfair reputation for being lazy.

[present_mirth]

Had Joseph left, Mary probably would have went through miscarriage and this could have been shown to Joseph in a dream therefor the birth of baby Jesus would have never been a thing.

I'm ... not really sure whether the grammar or the theology here is more startling.

[mamselle]

Um...they're engaging with the material...?

But..yeah.

M.

[AmLitHist]

Some of the negative constipation around the vaccination issue is based on individual liberty and religious freedom.

Uh.....

[Cheerful]

Some of the negative constipation around the vaccination issue is based on individual liberty and religious freedom.

Uh.....

LOL!  Added to Posting Hall of Fame.

[LandLoched]

I gave a midterm question on dimensional analysis along the lines of "find the speed at which the model must be tested if the model is one-quarter the size of the original [building/airplane/hot air balloon]..."

Student proceeds to write "one quarter = 25." Multiplies everything by 25...

I had another student that, when presented with a problem involving a vacuum chamber, stated "vacuum = no gravity." He then perpetrated the worst crimes against a free-body diagram that I've yet seen.

Third-year engineering students in both cases.